Sudoku

October 06 2009 - 3 comments

Our relationship was like a puzzle.
Wait, that didn’t sound right, let me try that again.
Our relationship was like a puzzle.
No, that doesn’t work either.
Our relationship was like a puzzle.
You see, like the sudoku puzzle where every number has a specific place that I can never get quite right, I will never be able to properly emphasize the existence of our relationship; having all the words in the right place.
We both knew there was a slot for everything, we just never knew which ones to use.

Two, six, four, three, five, nine, seven, eight, one.
The two days it took for me to decide that I wanted out.
—–Decided whether I wanted to fight for you or not.
The six hours that changed our relationship around.
—–Hours that shone a new light on you.
The four days before our anniversary, where it all ended.
—–Abruptly and coldly with no resolution or closure.
The three hour conversations we’d have over the phone.
—–Dragging on into complete fatigue and overwhelming excitement.
The five hour nights I’d get the chance to rest, followed by;
-the nine hour long days I’d have to endure after that.
—–Where you slept through every waking moment of my ever present struggle.
The seven days a week we’d find some way or another to contact each other.
—–An addiction of the sorts that we both loved to indulge in, enabling each other.
The eight different reasons I conjured to solidify my decision.
—–Each one influencing the next, growing in validity.
And the one thing we both should have seen before we ever got into this.

We never knew where to start, and we never knew where to end.
And like the pieces of a puzzle would interlock with each other,
I saw that we were too similar, yet too opposite to interlock.
We had the spaces on either side of us that would need someone else to fill it.
I required what you didn’t have, and you, of what I couldn’t give you.

So the numbers started to fall into place,
Forming a map for us to follow, so we would no longer walk blindly.
The puzzle now solved in accepting that our numbers should never have run
together.
While they fit into their slots, and solved themselves numerically,
There would never be a math to us, there would never be logic or reason.

And just like the puzzle solver isn’t to blame for attempting,
Neither should we blame ourselves for attempting,
Because it was tempting.
But if you really must blame something,
Blame the numbers that just didn’t add up.

About Julie Fernandes
After realizing that she's creative and thought provoking, but not consistently enough to run her own blog...she now leeches off my fame, and hopes to make her big break here. Also, she has a fetish for post-its , stationery, and semi-colons; it's almost X-rated and unhealthy.